Having Patience When We're a Decade Behind the Curve

My wonderful, supportive husband, who only wants the best for me and our family, e-mailed the above graphic and verse to me today.  And knowing me the way that he does, he hit the nail on the head as usual... and as I'm sure he knows, that made me want to kick him.  It's a good thing that his slow-to-anger, even temper usually balances out my quick, erratic temper.

Patience is not a virtue that I possess in abundance.  I imagine that God often helps us improve our inadequacies by placing us in situations where we really need to use and hone those skills!  In my case, He's really outdone himself.  Not only did He give me 2 more children, but He also led us to children who do not speak any English.  Then for good measure, He also made us sit around Ukraine for an extra couple of weeks waiting to bring them home.  

And it worked... by the end of that ordeal in Ukraine, I felt like a new woman.  Patience? Check.  Cured of my Type A personality? Check.  We were home, we were together, we were blending and getting to know each other, and life was good.  A few weeks later however, as the honeymoon phase is ending, I realize how foolish I was to have thought that I'd been cured of my impatience and quick temper.  I've also realized how much work we still have to do, and how much time it could still take, for our family to fully blend.  

A recent incident involving a bathroom dispute between the kids proved to me that I still have a long way to go in how I react to all of them.  In the end, a toothbrush was used as a weapon against my youngest, who was in tears, most likely because her feelings were hurt more than anything.  The situation did not end well: the protective "Mama Bear" in me lost her temper in defense of her "cub", and thank goodness that their level-headed father walked onto the scene to help diffuse the bomb.

All 4 of them are my children - I honestly LOVE all 4 of them the same.  I guess I assumed my instinct to protect would be equally strong for all of them too, right out of the gate.  But - full disclosure - the truth is that I instinctively react differently when a situation involves Sophia or Claire, both of whom I've nurtured, loved, protected, advocated for, educated, and prayed over for the last decade.  And while I now do the same for Anya and Alex, my instinct just hasn't caught up to the level that it is for Sophia and Claire.  As a mother, that's a hard truth for me to admit, and it makes me feel very guilty.  I knew it wouldn't happen overnight, but we still have a long way to go in continuing to grow our parent/child relationships with Anya and Alex, as well as sibling relationships between all the kids.  And that will take a lot of patience, thinking before I speak, and temper management.

In the meantime, school has begun and so has homework... What better way to continue working on improving my patience?  

August 26, 2013 - First Day of School